Foam Cleaner from Hell.
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I remember cleaning a computer many years ago with foam cleaner. It was a
Dragon 32 which despite a poor reputation was actually quite a reasonable
computer. Reasonable being the key word, the words Good and Excellent
certainly don't apply. The words limited and Naff almost apply. Anyway it
was pretty grubby looking in fact I must admit it was a mess. It may not
have had mushrooms sprouting out around the keys or nettles growing out
the vents but there was horrible inky fingermarks around the sides, plus
there was dust in all the groves, there was a wierd discolouration on the
top of the keys like a combination of sweat, dust and other stuff that
formed into a dark powdery coating. Also the the main label was missing
apart from its sticky underside. So out came the foam cleaner. It made
short work of that sticky underside and went on to great success all over.
I made a point of avoiding all vents and ports with neat foam. I just went
round the vents with the cloth merely damp with no actual running foam
cleaner. The foam cleaner is fairly messy stuff once it hits its target
you get about 2 seconds before it changes into a fizzy sort of liquid.
Foam cleaner is pretty corrosive. Have you ever passed a shop where their
window display has been the same for about six months? You will see once
white items turn into yellowy items. To get back to whiteness clean it
with foam cleaner. It seems to melt off a thin layer of whatever it
touches. If you ever saw that Man from Uncle episode with the killer foam
that strips bodies down to the bone or the scene in Robocop where the
balding thug melts and breaks up into a sloppy pile of flesh you'll
already know all you need to know about foam cleaner. While I was cleaning
the Dragon in a lapse moment of concentration a small dollop of foam
cleaner which had been resting happily next to the nozzle of the aerosol
was sent sliding and off the canister when I tilted it. It journeyed some
18inches approximately before hitting the right side of the Dragons
keyboard. Within a fraction of a second it was followed by the large mass
of a damp cotton duster. But some of the foam had already escaped down the
sides of the keys. I thought no more about it thinking that it would be
alright. After I'd finished cleaning it and the tape deck which I used
with it I connected it up and yes where the foam had entered the keyboard
the keys had become tempremental and the more I fiddled and thumped the
keys the less they worked. Most likely I was causing more liquid to get
into the microswitches. The Dragon actually had a proper microswitch
keyboard. If only it had some cheapo type membrane keyboard I could have
taken it apart cleaned it out and re-assembled it but those microswitches
were sealed. The only reason I was cleaning it was so I could sell the
bloomin thing. I had someone coming round the same day and now I'd gone
and busted the computer. At the time the Dragon's value was on a nosedive.
Dragon had gone bust. You could measure the devaluation day by day in
pounds. Shops were clearing them out cheap. Anyway I found a solution of
sorts with some microswitches in the loft which were similar except they
were taller and were meant for slightly different tops. Anyway I cut the
stalks down, soldered them in and glued on the normal Dragon tops. It all
worked fine except they were about 2mm taller than the other keys. So the
Dragon keyboard had a cluster of keys raised above the others. The bloke
came to look at the Dragon. I told him how the microswitches had been
replaced and my asking price was knocked down from £95 to £75 which I
reluctantly accepted. I'd paid the full whack for it £199.95. Anyway about
three weeks later I went into COOP and they had them brand new, boxed with
cables for £29.95. So I bought one. What's more the cassette software was
being sold elsewhere for a small fraction of its original cost. Well
anyway Foam cleaner and keyswitchs don't mix. I never thought at the time
about trying WD40. It might have worked. I might add this all happened
back in 1985-86. I can't remember exactly. The Dragon was the second (and
third) computer I ever owned. I wanted a BBC at the time but just couldn't
afford it. The Atari 800XL came after the Dragon. Then the Acorn Electron.
Later I bought a Spectrum 48 but I still kept the Electron. I sold the
Spectrum 48 on six months later. It wasn't until 1990 that I bought a BBC
B. The worst computer I ever owned was a Sharp MZ700. I bought it for a
fiver back in 1989. Its the most pathetic, awful computer I've ever come
across. I could write a whole book on what's wrong with that computer. It's
like every annoying, irritating feature a computer could possibly have was
included with that model.