WE'VE GOT A JOB TO MOVE A BOAT,
TO 'CRICK' THATS IN NORTHANTS,
FROM 'SALE' A PLACE IN CHESHIRE,
I SAID 'I'LL TAKE THE CHANCE'.
THE BOAT, IT LOOKED A BEAUTY,
UNTIL WE GOT ABOARD,
THAT'S WHEN THE TROUBLE STARTED,
BODGED' WELL SOME OTHER WORD.
THE ENGINE WAS SO NOISY,
AND SMOKED JUST LIKE A TRAIN,
BUT I'M BACK UPON THE WATER,
SO WHY SHOULD I COMPLAIN.
I TURNED AROUND AND HEADED,
THE BOWS FOR PRESTON BROOK,
BUT' SOON STOPPED BY THE TOWPATH,
THE PROPELLER' FOR TO LOOK.
I THOUGHT WE'D PICKED UP RUBBISH,
AS THE BOAT SEEMED VERY SLOW,
BUT NO SUCH LUCK' THERE'S NOTHING,
THAT COULD MAKE THE BELLE NOT GO.
SO PULL UP PINS' COIL UP THE ROPES,
AND SET OFF DOWN THE CUT,
THE SMOKE SEEMS EVEN THICKER,
SO WE'LL KEEP THE REAR DOOR SHUT.
WE PLODDED ON OUR MERRY WAY,
AT LAST' THINGS SEEM ALRIGHT,
UNTIL IT'S TIME TO STOP FOR FOOD,
AND MOOR UP FOR THE NIGHT.
I LIGHT THE FIRE, JOHN WALKS THE DOG,
AND EUNICE DOES THE GRUB,
NOW' RADIATORS BANGING, (CHRIST),
WHERE'S THE NEAREST BLOODY PUB?.
WE HAD OUR GRUB, PASSED ON THE PUB,
THEN HAD OURSELVES A REST,
I THEN SET UP THE RADIO,
THEN GOT ME'SELF A TEST.
'DOES ANYBODY COPY ME'
I SHOUTED IN THE MIKE,
BUT ALL I GOT WAS STATIC,
AND SWEARING AND THE LIKE.
AT LAST I GOT AN ANSWER,
SHE SAID, 'YOU SOUND OKAY',
I SAID, 'I THANK YOU KINDLY',
AND THEN CALLED IT A DAY.
WE ALL RETIRED TO BEDDY-BYES,
TO GET MUCH NEEDED REST,
BUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT,
THE BATTERIES PASSED THEIR BEST.
THE LOO WAS NEEDED DESPARATLEY,
AND THE BOAT IT WAS SO DARK,
THE TORCH IT HAS GONE,(WALKIES),
OH' WHAT A BLOOMING LARK.
I FUMBLED BLINDLY IN THE DARK,
TO FIND THE BATTERY SWITCH,
I SWITCHED FROM ONE TO NUMBER TWO,
IT WENT WITHOUT A HITCH.
SO BACK TO BED, TO REST OUR HEAD,
WE BOTH SAID WITH A YAWN,
AND SOON THE NIGHT WAS OVER,
THERE DAWNED A BRIGHT NEW MORN.
UP AND DRESSED, AND BREAKFASTED,
ALL READY FOR THE DAY,
ENGINE CHECKED AND STARTED UP,
LINES OFF AND ON OUR WAY.
WE SET OFF NICE AND SMOOTHLY,
I SAID, 'SHE'S GOING WELL',
THEN JOHN SAID, 'NO OIL PRESSURE',
I SAID, 'OH BLOODY HELL'.
WE PUT OUR BOWS TOWARDS THE BANK,
I SHUT THE ENGINE DOWN,
IT SLOWED DOWN NICE AND GENTLY,
THEN STOPPED WITHOUT A SOUND.
I SAID, 'WE'RE GOING NOWHERE
THE BLOODY THING'S SIEZED UP',
SO EUNICE PUT THE KETTLE ON
AND POURED US OUT A CUP.
THEN I SET OFF TO FIND A PHONE,
THE OWNER FOR TO TELL,
I SAID,'SHE'S BROKEN DOWN YOU KNOW
YOUR BOAT, 'THE NORDEN BELLE'.
AN HOUR OR SO LATER,
WHEN WE WERE ALL SAT DOWN,
A VOICE SAID FROM THE DOORWAY,
'I BELIEVE YOU'VE BROKEN DOWN'.
HE LOOKED INTO THE ENGINE ROOM,
THEN SAID, 'YOUR RIGHT YOU KNOW,
THIS ENGINE'S SEIZED UP SOLID
I THINK YOU'LL NEED A TOW.
HE WENT OFF BACK TO CLAYMORE,
TO GET A RESCUE BARGE,
AND TOWED US ON TO PRESTON BROOK,
TWA'S LITTLE PULLING LARGE.
AND SO OUR TRIP WAS OVER,
AND ALL OF US ARE SICK,
BECAUSE ALL WE REALLY WANTED
WAS, TO GET THIS BOAT TO 'CRICK'.
Bob Chown D2P