Submitted By K2O (S.Richardson.)
THE AMBULANCE DOWN IN THE VALLEY
Twas a dangerous cliff as they freely confessed
Tho to walk near its edge was quite pleasant
But over the side slipped a duke and a prince
And it had fooled many a peasant.
The people all said something had to be done
Tho their projects did not at all tally
Some said put a fence round the edge of the cliff
Others - an ambulance down in the valley.
The lament of the crowd was profound and so loud
As their hearts overflowed with great pity
But the ambulance carried the cry of the day
As it spread to the neighbouring cities.
A collection was made to accumulate aid
And dwellers in highway and alley
Gave dollars and cents, not to furnish a fence
But an ambulance down in the valley.
For the cliff is alright if you're careful they said
And if folks ever trip and are falling
It's not the slipping and sliding that hurts
So much as the shock when they're stopping.
And so on for years as these mishaps occurred
Quick forth would the rescuers sally
To pick up the victims who fell from the cliff
With the ambulance down in the valley.
Said one in his plea, "It's a marvel to me
That you give so much greater attention
To repairing results than to curing the cause
Why you'd much better aim at prevention.
The mischief, of course, should be stopped at its source
Come friends and good neighbours let's rally
It makes far better sense to rely on a fence
Than an ambulance down in the valley".
He's wrong in the head the majority said
He would end all our earnest endeavours
He's the kind of a jerk that would halt our good work
But we will support it forever.
Don't we pick up them all just as quick as they fall
And treat them with care quite liberally
A superfluous fence is of no consequence
If the ambulance works in the valley.
Well this story is queer as I've given it here
Tho things oft occur which are stranger
More humane we assert to repair all the hurt
Than the plan of removing the danger.
Before it all ends, it's time to begin
To attend to these things rationally
Yes build up the fence and let us dispense
With the ambulance down in the valley.
ACTIVE MEMBERSHIP LIST.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
K8C Adams Arthur
D4T Adams John
K7T Ambrose D
K1Q Aston John
D3T Austin Dave
K3D Bales Keith
A2J Bebbington Andy
K6F Bennet Mick
K7L Birks Jim
D3J Bishop Peter
138 Blundell Alan
K2H Boyce Ronald R
D4W Boyle Hugh
K8B Brandon Andy
K2U Brown David
D2C Burgess Andy
D3Y Carter R
K6K Cawkwell G
K6L Chamberlain Richard
K3W Chilton Tom
K6A Clapperton Ian A
K3Q Clark T
D4N Cleaver Dave
K6X Clucas Paul
D3H Colton David
D4E Cooper J
K8Y Copsey Bill
K4V Crapper Trevor
K2B Culpitt-Smith Colin
K2F Davis John C
A2L Davis Michael
K2K Davy Peter
K6Y Deacon Simon J
D4J Debus Oliver
20G Dickens Roy
K8D Dixon Bruce
SUE Dodsworth Susan
K5N Doran Stan J
K4J Dronfield Chris
K5Z Duff Bill
K4F Dunn Brian
D2E Dunnett Paul
K4P Eedle Susan
D3U Evans Byron
K5P Fay Andrew
K4W Firth Roy
3TR Fleming Mike
15A Flintham Steven
K6H Fowl Leslie J
K8W Fox Diane
4TK Frost Henry J
D3K Gallagher Steve
K5U Godfrey Simon
D3F Green Mike
D2K Grimes Alfred bob
K3N Guiry Des
K4A Hallam Kevin
D2T Hamilton Jonathan
K4N Hanson Steve
K8G Harston Jonathan
K1Y Harvey Paul
4G7 Hay J Renton
K3J Hobday A C
D4S Holmes Gilly
D2B Hooper D
D2N Horgan Victor J
K5M Howell Ron
K7K Jackson Sam
K3Y Jenne Lorna
D4B Johns Chris
K2C Jones Frank
D5A Jones Joe
3PM Pritchard Jones Derrick
K2V Jowitt Bill
D4M Kahan Zul
K7E Kempner Stuart
K7J Kilbride R
K4D Knight Lorin
K8X Lane G.Eric
D2H Lavelle Terry
D4P Lee Norma
K4K Leng Graham
K5W Lewis Chris J
D4F Lindsay Bill
K6E Lingwood Roger M
L1M Looyenga Janny
K2P Loveys D
K2J Lowless David
K4B Lynch George
K5B MacGraw David J
D3G Magee Chris
D4L Magro Frank
D4D Marshall David
4B2 Marshall Ron
K2L Maslin Barry
D3L Mason Steve
D3P Mayers Pete I
D3C McColl J.G.
K7N McEllin Mike
K3K Miles Alec
K2X Mitchell Bill
K5A Moffat Robin
K4R Morom Robin
K3F Morris Jacquetta
K7A Morrissey Liam
D4G Mosdell Robert
6EE Needham Mick
0E7 Nevin Fred
K2Q Nicholson John
D2R Olway John p
A2K Ord Fred W
A2D Parker SH
D2G Parry Niel
3SQ Parsons Tim
K3S Peck D T
K3G Perry Michael
K8U Pierson Vic
K8J Pike Cyril
3WU Price Fred
D3B Prochera Michael John
D2Y Ratnett Paul
K6N Raw B
K2E Reeves Mick
7MR Rhodes Mick
2J3 Richardson Christopher J
K2O Richardson Stephan
D4A Richmond P J
K4U Robbins Chris
K6Q Roberts L T
K5K Robinson David
K7B Robson Jim A
D4Y Rogers C.R.
D4K Rogers Martin
K6D Sanders Mick
D2F Sargent James
K3H Schofield Albert
1K1 Shakoor Abdus Sattar
483 Shimmin Daniel
176 Shuker Eric J
D4R Simpson Barry
D3N Smith Nigel L
D4H Smith Paul
K4C Smith Roger
8J4 Spender Charles R
D3E Swann Peter
K8P Tallowin Brian
D2J Tate Jonathan
D3D Thackeray Brian
K7P Thomas Victor
D4C Thompson Colin
K6W Tilbrook Karl
K2T Tourle Jack
K3M Walker Derek
A2H Walker Jamie
K4E Walker Richard
D3W Waters Peter D
105 Webster Duncan
K6J Weir P G
D2W Welsby S.Roger
D2X White Ivan
D3R Whitwell Tony
K8T Willey Gordon R
K2G Williamson Nigel
K2I Wilson John
4WL Wilson Martin
K8M York Michael John
D3X Young Bryan J
EDITED QUESTIONNAIRE RESULTS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number of questionnaires analysed: 119
Question 2:
Do you own an Acorn Electron?
0) No answer - 9 (7.56%)
1) Yes - 25 (21.01%)
2) No - 85 (71.43%)
Question 3:
Do you own a BBC Model A?
0) No answer - 9 (7.56%)
1) Yes - 1 (0.84%)
2) No - 109 (91.6%)
Question 4:
Do you own a BBC Model B?
0) No answer - 9 (7.56%)
1) Yes - 74 (62.18%)
2) No - 36 (30.25%)
Question 5:
Do you own a BBC Model B+?
0) No answer - 10 (8.4%)
1) Yes - 13 (10.92%)
2) No - 96 (80.67%)
Question 6:
Do you own a BBC Master 128?
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Yes - 57 (47.9%)
2) No - 54 (45.38%)
Question 7:
Do you own a BBC Master 512?
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Yes - 19 (15.97%)
2) No - 92 (77.31%)
Question 8:
Do you own a BBC Master Compact?
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Yes - 11 (9.24%)
2) No - 100 (84.03%)
Question 9:
Do you own an Archimedes?
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Yes - 10 (8.4%)
2) No - 101 (84.87%)
Question 10:
Do you have sideways RAM fitted?
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Yes - 84 (70.59%)
2) No - 27 (22.69%)
Question 11:
Do you have a second processor?
0) No answer - 7 (5.88%)
1) Yes - 36 (30.25%)
2) No - 76 (63.87%)
Question 12:
Do you have ADFS?
0) No answer - 7 (5.88%)
1) Yes - 69 (57.98%)
2) No - 43 (36.13%)
Question 15:
Do you use a 5.25" disc drive with your BBC/Master?
0) No answer - 7 (5.88%)
1) Yes - 106 (89.08%)
2) No - 6 (5.04%)
Question 16:
Do you use a 3.5" disc drive with your BBC/Master?
0) No answer - 7 (5.88%)
1) Yes - 29 (24.37%)
2) No - 83 (69.75%)
Question 17:
Do you use an 80 track disc drive with your BBC/Master?
0) No answer - 7 (5.88%)
1) Yes - 108 (90.76%)
2) No - 4 (3.36%)
Question 18:
Do you use a 40 track disc drive with your BBC/Master?
0) No answer - 7 (5.88%)
1) Yes - 62 (52.1%)
2) No - 50 (42.02%)
Question 19:
Do you use a double sided disc drive with your BBC/Master?
0) No answer - 7 (5.88%)
1) Yes - 105 (88.24%)
2) No - 7 (5.88%)
Question 20:
Do you use a twin disc drive with your BBC/Master?
0) No answer - 7 (5.88%)
1) Yes - 82 (68.91%)
2) No - 30 (25.21%)
Question 21:
Do you use a hard disc drive with your BBC/Master?
0) No answer - 7 (5.88%)
1) Yes - 12 (10.08%)
2) No - 100 (84.03%)
Question 22:
Do you use a colour monitor?
0) No answer - 7 (5.88%)
1) Yes - 81 (68.07%)
2) No - 31 (26.05%)
Question 23:
Do you use a monochrome monitor?
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Yes - 29 (24.37%)
2) No - 82 (68.91%)
Question 24:
Do you use a Colour TV?
0) No answer - 7 (5.88%)
1) Yes - 31 (26.05%)
2) No - 81 (68.07%)
Question 25:
Do you use a monochrome TV?
0) No answer - 7 (5.88%)
1) Yes - 4 (3.36%)
2) No - 108 (90.76%)
Question 26:
Do you use Econet?
0) No answer - 7 (5.88%)
1) Yes - 4 (3.36%)
2) No - 108 (90.76%)
Question 27:
What printer do you have? (COPY for none)
Number of answers: 104
Question 28:
Do you own a modem?
0) No answer - 7 (5.88%)
1) Yes - 22 (18.49%)
2) No - 90 (75.63%)
Question 29:
Do you own a mouse?
0) No answer - 7 (5.88%)
1) Yes - 54 (45.38%)
2) No - 58 (48.74%)
Question 31:
Which of these word processors do you prefer?
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Wordwise(+) - 22 (18.49%)
2) Interword - 27 (22.69%)
3) View - 43 (36.13%)
4) Edit - 4 (3.36%)
5) Pen and paper - 4 (3.36%)
6) None of these - 11 (9.24%)
Question 32:
What is your BASIC programming ability?
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Nothing that I can't do! - 3 (2.52%)
2) Handle most problems - 20 (16.81%)
3) Competent. Sometimes get stuck - 22 (18.49%)
4) Struggle but manage - 41 (34.45%)
5) Fail miserably - 20 (16.81%)
6) Don't try at all - 5 (4.2%)
Question 33:
What is your Machine code programming ability?
0) No answer - 7 (5.88%)
1) Nothing that I can't do! - 2 (1.68%)
2) Handle most problems - 3 (2.52%)
3) Competent. Sometimes get stuck - 8 (6.72%)
4) Struggle but manage - 16 (13.45%)
5) Fail miserably - 29 (24.37%)
6) Don't try at all - 54 (45.38%)
Question 35:
Magazine interest in Software
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Extremely high priority! - 12 (10.08%)
2) High priority - 69 (57.98%)
3) Ok but not too important - 29 (24.37%)
4) No interest - 1 (0.84%)
5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%)
Question 36:
Magazine interest in Utilities
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Extremely high priority! - 14 (11.76%)
2) High priority - 84 (70.59%)
3) Ok but not too important - 13 (10.92%)
4) No interest - 0 (0%)
5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%)
Question 37:
Magazine interest in Games
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Extremely high priority! - 4 (3.36%)
2) High priority - 19 (15.97%)
3) Ok but not too important - 77 (64.71%)
4) No interest - 11 (9.24%)
5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%)
Question 38:
Magazine interest in Music
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Extremely high priority! - 8 (6.72%)
2) High priority - 18 (15.13%)
3) Ok but not too important - 57 (47.9%)
4) No interest - 27 (22.69%)
5) Object to it being included - 1 (0.84%)
Question 39:
Magazine interest in Educational
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Extremely high priority! - 10 (8.4%)
2) High priority - 40 (33.61%)
3) Ok but not too important - 40 (33.61%)
4) No interest - 21 (17.65%)
5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%)
Question 40:
Magazine interest in Graphics
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Extremely high priority! - 6 (5.04%)
2) High priority - 44 (36.97%)
3) Ok but not too important - 52 (43.7%)
4) No interest - 9 (7.56%)
5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%)
Question 41:
Magazine interest in Programming articles
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Extremely high priority! - 11 (9.24%)
2) High priority - 58 (48.74%)
3) Ok but not too important - 38 (31.93%)
4) No interest - 4 (3.36%)
5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%)
Question 42:
Magazine interest in Hardware articles
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Extremely high priority! - 9 (7.56%)
2) High priority - 63 (52.94%)
3) Ok but not too important - 34 (28.57%)
4) No interest - 5 (4.2%)
5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%)
Question 43:
Magazine interest in DIY hardware projects
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Extremely high priority! - 10 (8.4%)
2) High priority - 42 (35.29%)
3) Ok but not too important - 45 (37.82%)
4) No interest - 14 (11.76%)
5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%)
Question 44:
Magazine interest in Communications
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Extremely high priority! - 8 (6.72%)
2) High priority - 25 (21.01%)
3) Ok but not too important - 49 (41.18%)
4) No interest - 29 (24.37%)
5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%)
Question 45:
Magazine interest in Hints and Tips
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Extremely high priority! - 24 (20.17%)
2) High priority - 76 (63.87%)
3) Ok but not too important - 11 (9.24%)
4) No interest - 0 (0%)
5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%)
Question 46:
Magazine interest in Cheats
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Extremely high priority! - 1 (0.84%)
2) High priority - 16 (13.45%)
3) Ok but not too important - 37 (31.09%)
4) No interest - 54 (45.38%)
5) Object to it being included - 3 (2.52%)
Question 47:
Magazine interest in General News
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Extremely high priority! - 7 (5.88%)
2) High priority - 65 (54.62%)
3) Ok but not too important - 39 (32.77%)
4) No interest - 0 (0%)
5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%)
Question 48:
Magazine interest in Messaging including adverts
0) No answer - 8 (6.72%)
1) Extremely high priority! - 18 (15.13%)
2) High priority - 80 (67.23%)
3) Ok but not too important - 13 (10.92%)
4) No interest - 0 (0%)
5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%)