Just a couple of messages that K6X sent
to me for issue 45. I thought you would
all like to see the sort of thing that
I like to receive. These messages were
personal. However, Paul has given
permission for me to publish them, just
to show you all the sort of thing an
8BS editor has to handle.
To: 2J3
From: K6X ((Cluke))
Subject: Dear Uncle Chris,
Those nice men in the white coats,you
know, the ones that dole out the funny
-shaped Smarties ( I love the little
white ones that make me keep falling
over ) each morning after we've had
our cold shower and our run around the
grounds? Not the ones that have the
funny accents and the gold American
Excess cards and say "NINE" when you
ask if the boxing gloves could PLEASE
be left off tonight when we all get
locked in our cots after supper, the
other ones, right? Well, they let me
have my crayons back. Wouldn't let me
sharpen them for some reason or other,
but at least I've got them, well most
of them. Nigel ate a few whilst I was
sitting on the potty! I couldn't get
up to stop him cos I was waiting for
Howard to finish tearing up the news-
paper. All I wanted was a few small
squares but Howard, as usual, gets
carried away and before you know it
there's joined-up people and doilies
everywhere. Anyway, by the time I'd
managed to persuade Howard that this
wasn't another audition for Zocko's
Children's Entertainment Agency, and
could I pretty please have a few bits
of paper to make some aeroplanes with
( he is SO gullible! ), got me socks
wrung out, cos as soon as I stood up
old Alf who thinks he's really a gold
prospector was in there slopping the
contents all over the floor before I
could move out the way, and I HATE
squelchy socks, anyway, by the time I
got back to my cot after that lot, I
found Nigel sitting there grinning a
multi-coloured smile at me. It came as
a bit of a surprise actually cos as
far as I remember Nigel had his teeth
confiscated after that time he stuck
them onto the Queen's picture. The one
above the desk where the Head nurse
sits, at least I've been told she's
the Head nurse cos she's got dirty
knees, but I don't understand the
connection. Where was I? Oh yes, Nigel
and his smile. You've guessed it. They
weren't his teeth, they were my
crayons. Not stuck on the Queen's
picture, that was ages ago. No, in his
mouth. Not the Queen's, NIGEL's. DO
pay attention when I'm talking. They
couldn't be stuck in the Queen's mouth
cos I've only just got them back, and
the Queen's picture got taken down a
while ago after someone wrote " We'll
never forget you Freddy " on it. Seems
they thought it was a picture of some
bloke who died while he was on an aid
programme or something. We didn't see
the programme cos the telly got taken
away recently due to all the rows we
had about whether to watch the new ITV
channel or stick with the BBC. Having
the choice of two channels was a real
headache for some. I am good at making
decisions, well sometimes maybe I'm
not really that good, although perhaps
I'm not so sure about that, but anyway
having two channels to choose from was
too much for the others, and the men
in white coats who say " NINE " said
that they were having to give out too
many Smarties, so the telly got taken
away. Anyway, I managed to get most of
my crayons back out of Nigel's mouth,
getting a few nasty sucks in the
process, and ended up with enough of
them, the crayons not the sucks, to do
some pictures for you. I hope you like
them. They are not very well coloured
in cos most of the crayons were blunt,
except the ones that Nigel had gnawed
at, and it is awkward trying to hold
them with boxing gloves on AND hold
the torch steady at the same time. I'd
better stop now cos I can hear someone
coming. The Head nurse probably, doing
the rounds. If you like the pictures,
please send in some more crayons ( cut
the points off first or they won't let
me have them ) and some drawing paper
( the softer the better ) and I will
do some more if I find the time. Lots
of love to Auntie Gill. Paulie. XXX
To: 2J3
From: K6X ((Cluke))
Subject: Woss all this then?
That wos one tatty ole disc wot you
sent me with issue 44 on it! Have I
said or done something ( more than
usual ) to upset you? More labels on
it than a kid starting school! The
only thing missing was the idiot
gloves threaded through the sleeve! A
slow peel of the label ( I like a bit
of a challenge ) revealed that before
it had Signwriter on it, whatever that
is, it had Revs. TUT! TUT! Piracy yet!
I s'pose you got it as part of a job
lot at a boot sale? Likely story!!
The Cumana Disc Drive Guide that you
sent didn't contain the hoped-for cct.
diagram, so a quick ( well, relatively
quick, you know me! ) phonecall to
Cumana got me the info as to what
volts lurk where, so I'll crank up the
ole sodding iron and set about getting
the plug ( for which ta ever so ) put
onto a lead so's I can try to blow up
the M128 by running the twin off it.
The guy in the Tech Dept @ Cumana said
that they had moved last year, and
needing the space, had just dumped (!)
all the old manuals and stuff for the
older machines. What a waste!?
Phoned Acorn User, all naive like, to
ask if they would be doing a Show next
year. The Editor Fella phoned me back
and with much effort, cos he don't say
much, I got some info out of him. I
felt like one of the Watergate pair,
trying to get the answers to some of
my questions. I reckon even Parkinson
would baulk at interviewing him! Any-
how, the following may or may not be
news to you. He feels that all that
CAN be said about the Beeb etc. has
BEEN said over the past years, so AU
( as Beebug ) will be devoting future
energies towards The Archers and it's
offspring, from which I infer that AU
has or will soon cease support for the
Beeb etc. Last year's AU Show barely
broke even, and this year's didn't do
even THAT well, so next year's is
looking unlikely, although it WILL be
at Harrogate if it does take place.
(You'd better tell JGH to make a start
on clearing out the garage, and also
finding the best pubs within
staggering distance of his gaff, cos
it looks like he's gonna be taken up
on his offer. ) The Editor Fella did
say that the Acorn World Show would be
on at Wembley, but I don't think I'll
be going cos it's aimed at The Archers
rather than us. No doubt in 15 years
there will be groups of old Archie
owners out in the wilderness grumbling
about lack of support, as Acorn User
concentrates on getting to grips with
the new Acorn Certain ( ie no-RISC )
A21000 Solar-powered sub-micro. There
will be Hints & Tips on how to use the
hand-held combined scanner/printer,*FX
Calls not in the 9-volume User Guide,
how to avoid losing the A21000 through
the hole in your trouser pocket, and
how to dismantle your Hoover if it
should get sucked up off the floor,
how to fold up the LCD screen so that
it will fit back into an old-fashioned
5 1/4" disc-box, and how to save time
when inflating the membrane keyboard
by using a Sparklett's Sodastream!
Remember, you read it here first!
To: 2J3
From: K6X ((Cluke))
Subject: Mixed feelings ..
Very surprised to find your letter on
the doormat. First off had me thinking
I'd lost a couple of weeks somewhere,
but a quick look at the Daily Liar was
enough to convince me that I was still
in real time ( well, it's all relative
isn't it? ) and that I still had a
couple of weeks to hone the point on
the ole blue pencil, as well as read a
few hundred more pages of the Oxford
Dictionary. You ought to try it, it is
quite amazing some of the words in it,
some even I have never heard of! I am
reading it partly as a bedtime
soporific, and partly cos I feel that
my position as chief spellign-checker
is being threatened by a piece of
software in a computer, and there is
NO WAY that I will be beaten by a
machine! Got THAT off me chest.
You obviously took no notice of my
previous letter on this disc, cos the
disc wot I just got has got just as
Lookee, a ^ palindromic phrase ^!!!
many labels and gobbets of sticky
stuff on it as the previous one. I
don't want any excuses about you not
having received the previous letter
cos it is on this disc, that is REALLY
a specious argument! I can take a hint
though, so I have sent you a few nice
formatted and verified DFS and ADFS
discs for future use.
The mixed feelings of the title relate
to the disc wot you sent, excitement
at reading your note that you had made
some changes to the way that it was to
run; I thought that you had managed to
incorporate the changes we had
discussed about staying within a menu
option when getting out of a file
within that menu rather than returning
to the main menu each time. Therefore
the other feeling was disappointment
when I ran the disc and found that
this was not what you had done. I am
not clear why you have made this
change from break to space, unless it
is a stage along the way to other
changes that you have up your sleeve?
It DOES all work though, which is what
you wanted me to check out ( at least,
it does on my M128 ). A few (useful?)
observations if I may? I DID look at
EVERY file, and some did not have
"Press Space" at the end. With a
change in the way the system runs, the
readership will need constant
reminding for the first few years
until we get the hang of it! Maybe a
few lines in About This Issue, to draw
people's attention to the change, and
a few more in the Editorial or
somewhere to reinforce the point and
explain why you have done it? I'm sure
we'd all like to know! It does seem to
return to the main menu a tad quicker,
but that may just be my imagination as
I have been spending the last few
nights going through all the TAU discs
and ending up back at the main option
menu so often when I come out of the
programs. No doubt you have already
considered including summat as to the
whys and wherefores of the change but
I thought I would mention it as being
"A Good Idea" just in case you were
vacillating. I think the REAL reason
is that you now have so much 8BS stuff
cluttering up No. 17 that Gill was
demanding more space, and this was
your ( rather facetious if I may say
so ) reply!
The Twin-drive is now being powered by
the M128 and (so far) has not thrown a
wobbly. Maybe I ought to stick to
delving into the hard- rather than the
software as I seem to have more
success with that?
To: 2J3
From: K6X ((Cluke))
Subject: Schooldaze ..
Nearly got me 40T discs sorted out for
the school. I thought I had finished
them, until I got BBC-159 and found a
few more that were at the sort of
level I was aiming at. Trouble is, I
can't lift them off of BBC-159! I keep
running into bits of machine code that
I think are part of the main menu. I
am probably doing summat wrong or not
doing summat I should be, as usual,
but this knowledge is notalota help!
Destruction book time again!
PRESS SPACE